Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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