Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
