in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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