just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
