I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
