You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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