sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
