Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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