dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
