"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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