i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
