I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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