Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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