K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
