perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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