apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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