so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We left the knife in your bed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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