I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The adults are the big ones right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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