Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
