Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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