Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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