I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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