the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
