I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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