Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
