i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
