I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
