That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
