If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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