I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
