fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
