I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
