Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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