Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
jump out the window naked night went bad
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
