Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
