You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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