I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
