The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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