She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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