the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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