Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
