how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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