Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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