Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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