well I can't set my house on fire every night
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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