I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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