ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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