So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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