You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
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I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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