I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
