Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
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Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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