I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
