I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
