WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize