i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
