Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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