I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
