once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
