so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
