Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
